How to tell my friend that he is gay

Marina Sarris

Date Revised: June 12, 2024

One day, Riley Smith learned from some former co-workers that an acquaintance had come out as transgender. Smith felt glad for the acquaintance, but she also felt something else. “Afterward, in the days and weeks that followed, I felt a different emotion that I recognized as envy. It led to me to ask myself increasingly tough questions about who I was.”

Assigned male at birth, Smith eventually came to realize that she is a transgender woman. As an autistic person, she is not alone. A higher percentage of autistic people identify as female homosexual, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ) than the general population, according to research studies.1-5 A 2017 Gallup poll found that 4.5 percent of Americans identify as LGBT.

Studies vary widely on the percentage of people with autism who are gay, woman loving woman, or bisexual. One study suggested the rate is 15 to 35 percent among autistic people who do not have intellectual disability. 2

“Most of the data that we’re seeing is that [the LGB rate] is two to three times higher,” says clinical psychologist Eileen T. Crehan, Ph.D., an assistant prof

How Do I Help My Gay Friend?

by D’Ann Davis

“How do I help my gay friend?”  This is a question we catch constantly in the Living Hope office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world.  Twenty years ago few Christians asked this question, for few knew any same gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were ignorant to their friend’s struggles.  Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as homosexual or deals with a measure of same gender attractions.  Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of animation where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this scrutinize is of utmost importance in light of the change of our society and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly communicate about their issues.  So how does one assist a gay-identified friend or SGA friend?

The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question.  “Does your friend know Jesus?”  This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attempting to help a friend deal with her sexual attractions.  This is because there are two different rou

What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality?

What Does The Bible Speak About Homosexuality?

Introduction

For the last two decades, Pew Explore Center has reported that one of the most enduring ethical issues across Christian traditions is sexual diversity. For many Christians, one of the most frequently first-asked questions on this topic is, “What does the Bible utter about attraction to someone of the same sex?”

Although its unlikely that the biblical authors had any notion of sexual orientation (for example, the phrase homosexual wasn't even coined until the late 19th century) for many people of faith, the Bible is looked to for timeless guidance on what it means to honor God with our lives; and this most certainly includes our sexuality.

Before we can jump into how it is that Christians can maintain the authority of the Bible and also affirm sexual diversity, it might be helpful if we started with a brief but clear overview of some of the assumptions informing many Christian approaches to understanding the Bible.

What is the Bible?

For Christians to whom the Bible is God’s very written word, it is widely understood that God produced its contents through inspired

If Someone Comes Out to You

Someone who is coming out feels close enough to you and trusts you sufficiently to be trustworthy and risk losing you as a friend. It can be difficult to know what to say and what to do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you. Below are some suggestions you may wish to follow.

  • Thank your ally for having the courage to say you. Choosing to tell you means that they acquire a great deal of respect and trust for you.
  • Don’t determine your friend. If you have powerful religious or other beliefs about LGBTIQ communitites, keep them to yourself for now. There will be plenty of time in the future for you to think and talk about your beliefs in clear of your friend’s identity.
  • Respect your friend’s confidentiality. Allow them the integrity to give what they yearn, when and how they want to.
  • Tell your friend that you still care about them, no matter what. Be the friend you contain always been. The main fear for people coming out is that their friends and family will reject them.
  • Don’t be too serious. Sensitively worded humor may ease the tension you are both probably feeling.
  • Ask questions you may have, but understand that your friend
    how to tell my friend that he is gay

    A letter to my homosexual best friend

    Dear You,

    I’m writing this with trepidation and excitement at the matching time. I don’t understand how you’ll feel upon reading it, and some of this has been brimming over for a while. I just didn’t have the courage to tell you face to face.

    I was walking over to your office the other day after a bad day at work and thought about our friendship, which has survived so many storms. I walked through those doors, and in your hand was a brief box from Lady M.

    “Here’s cake for you, I know you had a bad day,” you said, with that signature glow.

    If people didn’t understand any better, they’d assume we were together. But nothing could be further than the truth. Not just because we both believe that men and women can have fit platonic friendships. Not just because we really are just friends.

    But because, well. You like men, and I do too.

    I remember when we met, but I think what was more striking was how we connected years later, after a church conference had concluded and I had a sudden urge to pray for your heart defect. This was before the life of WhatsApp, and I couldn’t wait till I got home to log on to MSN Runner. So I dropped you a text,