Ways to let other gay guys know that im bi
Graphic by Shay Suban
If there ever were a ignorant question, this would be it.
I’ve been bisexual since before I knew there was a word for it. Yet, until recently, I found myself asking this question whenever the opportunity arose. Surprisingly, I’ve realized that coming out did nothing more than worsen the problem. At least before, I only had to question if I liked the contrary gender. Ever since coming out, if I leaned towards favoring either side of the spectrum I’d panic as if I were losing my entire identity. Unfortunately, this battle I went through is not uncommon. It’s a product of all my personal experiences with Bi erasure, culminating into a deeply internalized sense of biphobia. This is my story about how I dealt with that struggle.
My earliest experience with Bi erasure came in the form of a valuable life lesson that my drunken father set out to teach me at the ripe, young age of 13. “Listen son, someday when you’re off at college you’re gonna realize two things: first, that all women are a little bit bisexual person, and second, that all men are either homosexual or straight, no in-between.” To my father’s credit- not that he deserves any- I was also taught to love and app
How do I uncover out if I'm bi, or not?
Have all of your unbent friends had sex (Different things people choose to do to actively declare or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) with a guy if they’re girls, or with a teen if they’re guys? If not, how do they know they’re straight?
See how silly that is? Hopefully they will, too. It’s not sage to construct orientation something anyone needs to “prove” with sex for a whole lot of reasons. Not only does that add something pretty dehumanizing to people’s intimacies, sexual orientation (A term – like queer, heterosexual, bisexual, queer, direct, lesbian, gay, asexual – used to describe a person’s usual or current pattern of emotional, affectionate and/or sexual attraction to other people as it relates to or is about gender.) is about feelings, not actions. It’s about what sexual (About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) or romantic (Of, or relating to, intimate or passionate love or interest.) feelings we acquire with or about people in terms of their gender (Characteristics that are seen or presented as distinguishing between male and female in a population.
What Gay and Bi Men Really Want
Are physical and sexual attraction the most appealing qualities in a partner? Or are unseen qualities like good manners and reliability the most attractive?
Following on from his study into what linear women want and what straight men want, D&M Research’s managing director Derek Jones has taken the next valid step with his latest study into what gay and bi(sexual) men want.
In order to excavate deeper and pull out a real list of turn-ons and turn-offs for gay and bi men, Derek once again used of the Im-Ex Polygraph method. He originally devised this way of analysis to distinguish what people say they want from brands, products or services from what they really want by comparing stated versus derived measures of importance.
Qualities the gay and bi men said they desired in a partner (‘stated’) were compared to the qualities present in example celebrities they nominated as attractive (‘implied’). The identical comparison was made between stated and implied negative qualities, to determine what attributes are really the biggest turn-offs.
What gay and bi men say they want
Just like vertical women and vertical men, “we delight in be
Netflix: How did it know I was bi before I did?
BBC Elongated Form Audio
After BBC reporter Ellie Dwelling came out as bisexual, she realised that Netflix already seemed to perceive. How did that happen?
I realised that I was attracted to both genders in my second year of university, but Big Tech seemed to hold worked it out several months before me.
I'd had one long-term boyfriend before then, and always considered myself direct. To be sincere, dating wasn't at the top of my agenda.
However, at that time I was watching a lot of Netflix and I was getting more and more recommendations for series with female homosexual storylines, or bi characters.
These were TV series that my friends - people of a similar age, with a similar background, and similar streaming histories - were not being recommended, and had never heard of.
One exhibit that stuck out was called You Me Her, about a suburban married couple who welcome a third person into their association. Full of gender non-conforming storylines and bi characters, it has been described as TV's "first polyromantic comedy".
It wasn't just Netflix. Soon, I had spotted similar recommendations on several platfo
What To Say When Someone Asks How Bi You Are
I feel so fortunate to be bi; creature able to fall in love across the sexes has given me life-changing relationships and has allowed me to meet some of the best people. However, sometimes people who aren’t bi don’t quite understand what bisexuality means to those of us who are.
No matter who I was dating, whether my partner was a man or woman, someone always wanted to realize exactly how bi I was.
People didn’t come out and bluntly ask, “Just how bi are you?” but that’s essentially what their questions boiled down to. People both lgbtq+ and straight would ask:
I’ve been asked all these questions and many others along the identical lines.
Not only are questions like these invasive, but they’re also invalidating. They ignore the experiences of bisexuality because the underlying assumption is that bisexuality is a phase or an intermediary point between straight and gay and that all bi people are just gathering data and waiting to choose which one they are.
The last question, the one about percentages, acknowledges that bisexuality does indeed be, but it assumes that bisexuality can be easily quantified — and that you owe the aske